Written by Fiona Alexander and Debbie Hirte
A player misses a shot, disagrees with a call or becomes frustrated by an instruction. The match keeps moving, but their attention may still be on what just happened.
Parents, coaches and officials do not need a long speech in that moment. A pause, a few well-chosen words and a clear next step can help a player return to the game.
In our work with Tennis West, we explored three practical strategies for players, parents, coaches and officials: pause before responding, use one neutral cue, and bring attention back to the next point.
1. Pause before responding
When emotions are running high, take a quiet six-second pause before speaking. This gives you a moment to choose your response and gives the player a little space, too.
You can acknowledge the feeling without debating the call: “I can see that was frustrating.” A moment of connection can help the player hear what comes next.
2. Use one neutral cue
Keep your words short and specific. “Why did you do that?” may sound like blame to a player who is already upset. Try “What would help right now?” or simply, “Let’s reset.”
If you need to give an instruction, give one at a time. Then allow five to ten seconds for the player to process it before adding anything else.
3. Bring attention back to the next point
Help the player identify one action within their control. In tennis, that might sound like: “Where do you want to place your serve?” or “What’s your plan for the next point?”
Parents can use the same approach from the sidelines. A calm, familiar cue may be more useful during play than analysing the last mistake.
Pause. One cue. Next point.
Small changes in timing and language can make it easier for a player to reset and re-engage. REACH ADHD Coaching and Consultancy provides practical ADHD education and strategies for families and sporting organisations. Get in touch to discuss support for your community.
