Introduction
If you’ve ever seen your child shut down, run away, explode in anger, or deny doing something even when it’s obvious they did—it’s possible their amygdala has taken over. This instinctive “hijack” isn’t about being naughty or disrespectful. It’s the brain doing what it thinks is safest. And for kids with ADHD, this response can be even more intense. Seeking professional help, such as ADHD Coaching in Perth, can provide valuable support for these children.
So let’s explore what an amygdala hijack is, why it happens more frequently in ADHD brains, and why lying—yes, lying—might actually be a survival strategy rather than a sign of dishonesty.
What is an Amygdala Hijack?
The term amygdala hijack was first coined by psychologist Daniel Goleman in his work on emotional intelligence. The amygdala is the brain’s emotional alarm system, responsible for detecting threats and triggering the fight, flight, or freeze response.
In an “amygdala hijack,” the rational part of the brain (the prefrontal cortex) is bypassed, and the emotional brain takes over—fast and instinctively. This is helpful if you’re facing a real danger, like an aggressive dog. But in day-to-day life—especially at school or home—it can lead to overreactions, shutdowns, and impulsive behaviour.
ADHD and a More Sensitive Alarm System
Children with ADHD often have heightened emotional reactivity and difficulties with emotional regulation. Research shows that the amygdala and other parts of the limbic system in ADHD brains can be more sensitive to perceived threats (Shaw et al., 2014). These threats don’t have to be physical—criticism, shame, or pressure can also trigger a hijack.
This means your child’s big reaction may not be a choice, but an automatic brain-based response.
Fight, Flight, Freeze… and Lie?
Traditionally, we talk about fight, flight, or freeze, but trauma-informed approaches (such as those from Dr. Bruce Perry and Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory) now recognise a fourth response: fawn. This includes appeasing, pleasing, or saying what someone wants to hear to avoid conflict.
And this is where lying can come in.
Why might a child lie during an amygdala hijack?
- To avoid perceived punishment – The child may lie reflexively, trying to escape the “threat” of being in trouble.
- To reduce shame – Especially if they already feel they’re “always” doing something wrong.
- To regain control – Lying can be a way to quickly take charge of a situation that feels overwhelming.
- To protect connection – Some kids lie not to deceive, but because they fear disappointing someone they care about.
When the brain feels unsafe, it will do whatever it can to survive that moment. Lying can be part of the freeze/fawn response—particularly in children who are highly sensitive or emotionally reactive, like many with ADHD.
Research & Articles Supporting This
- Brown, T. E. (2013). A New Understanding of ADHD in Children and Adults – discusses the role of emotional regulation and impulsivity in ADHD, including emotional overreactions.
- Shaw et al. (2014) – Neuroimaging studies show that children with ADHD have differences in the amygdala and prefrontal cortex, affecting how they perceive and react to threats.
- Porges, S. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory – explains how the nervous system responds to safety and danger cues, including appeasement and fawning behaviours.
- Ross Greene (2016) – In The Explosive Child, Greene highlights that kids do well if they can, and that “lying” is often an effort to avoid meltdown, not manipulation.
What Can Parents Do?
- Pause before reacting. If you sense a lie, take a breath. Ask yourself: Is my child in a reactive state?
- Focus on safety and connection first. Before correcting, offer calmness and empathy: “You seem worried I’d be upset.”
- Be curious, not accusatory. Use open-ended questions like, “What happened just before that?” or “Can you help me understand?”
- Teach and model emotional regulation. Use tools like the Hand Model of the Brain (Siegel) to explain what happens when we “flip our lid.”
5. Avoid shame-based language. Shame fuels more lying. Connection opens the door to honesty.
Flowchart: What Happens During an Amygdala Hijack in Children with ADHD?
START
Trigger Occurs
Examples: being corrected, fear of failure, social conflict, feeling overwhelmed
⬇️
The Brain Perceives a Threat
The amygdala senses danger – even if the threat is emotional rather than physical.
⬇️
Amygdala Hijack
The rational brain (prefrontal cortex) is bypassed.
The child enters a reactive, survival-focused state.
⬇️
Survival Responses Activated
Children with ADHD may respond in one or more of the following ways:
- Fight – Aggression, arguing, yelling, defiance
- Flight – Running away, leaving the room, avoiding
- Freeze – Shutting down, unable to speak or act
- Fawn/Lie – Saying what they think adults want to hear, fabricating stories, denying actions
⬇️
Short-Term Relief, Long-Term Impact
The child avoids immediate distress but may feel shame, confusion, or fear later.
Adults may misinterpret the response as intentional misbehaviour or manipulation.
⬇️
What Children Need
- Co-regulation and emotional safety
- Understanding of their brain and stress responses
- Support to build self-awareness and language for big feelings
- Reframing lying as a stress signal, not a character flaw
